Do you brush off positive feedback say “Thank Youâ€

This is the season of year-end performance review. As I conduct performance reviews for my team and receive my own, I reflected upon my inner journey in receiving feedback. Growing up, I learned to brush off praises and compliments. Perhaps, it was childhood conditioning where my mom would say “Aiyo, she’s not smart la. Your daughter is better, so disciplined, so smart.” I internalized that as: 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡. 𝐓𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. Whenever I had any achievement, I would say “𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟.” When others complimented me, my reflex is - “ℎ𝑎ℎ𝑎, 𝑛𝑜 𝑙𝑎. 𝐼𝑡’𝑠𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔.” I would brush off any idea that I did a good job and focus on what could be better. I want to, yet I resisted acknowledging my achievements or good qualities. It is as though it wasn’t right if I gave myself even a moment to feel good about it. As though, I don’t deserve it. I felt held back, regardless of how much I have done or achieved. Deep down, I resisted acknowledging myself because I was afraid . I was afraid that this will mean that I have stopped being humble and will not improve anymore. It was tiring. One day, I went to a workshop and there, I learned to choose a more empowering thought: “I can acknowledge my progress AND be better” Yes! It wasn’t mutually exclusive. I do not have to disregard my progress or achievement. I can hold them in my heart and bring them along as I move forward. I started practicing allowing myself to acknowledge my progress. It wasn’t easy to feel that I deserve it. I used to only believe the performance improvement feedback and would feel awkward if I hear positive feedbac…